By Kashmire Kay
There's no other love that exists on the planet like the love that comes from a mother. Maternal love was physically and emotionally handed to you at birth, and by nature, it is a connection that should last a lifetime. A mothers' love is incomparable to others you encounter and holds a level of trust and intimacy that cannot be replicated. So, what happens when that love is broken or perhaps doesn't even exist? When boundaries are stripped away? When trust is torn, and episodes of mistrust begin to form, you're left wondering how to navigate life without the person who was responsible for being your protector, nurturer and your guide. No parent is perfect, all children grow up with parents who make mistakes - and some of those mistakes have a lasting impact. Children of narcissistic parents however, grow up with parents whose actions can leave mental and emotional scars that negatively affect their children well after they have left the nest.
When you're faced with the challenges of a mother who has narcissistic traits, those wounds can last for a lifetime and sadly, society has chosen to suppress the narrative of an emotionally unavailable mother. In many instances, it is noticeably more accepting of fathers wounds. Still, those who experience hurt from their mother are left scarred by the one person they've touched from the moment they entered this world. When you've been emotionally dismantled by a parent, you start to question your worth and have serious challenges understanding what true love is and how to have healthy relationships. You often refrain from expressing your deepest needs and longings because you learned very early that they are inconsequential in comparison to your parent. You often repress your thoughts and feelings to maintain emotional stability at home. This results in low doses of self-worth and self confidence, if having any at all. These feelings have a significant effect on personal development and stems from deeply rooted abandonment issues on both sides of the mother-daughter dynamic.
While feeling defenseless and confused is common, the repercussions of a narcissistic mother can transform into many battles within as a young woman. Those internal voices plague your mind, and the thought of feeling that your mother is displeased with you or that she will never acknowledge the hurt and pain she caused you as a daughter is disparaging. You believe a false reality and may suffer from self doubt or not trusting your own feelings. This level of emotional trauma can feel normal because it's all you've ever known, opening the door to other forms of abuse, even into adulthood until the healing process presents itself.
You can be freed from the wrong thinking and the emotional neglect that you didn't have control of as a child. The mama wound has become a part of your life, and instead of sorting through the baggage that you've never asked to unpack, it's time to heal.
With the hand we're all dealt with in life, the best gift we can give ourselves is the transformational healing and the opportunity to cultivate a life of love and mental stability that we need to make meaningful connections along the way. In order to move past the emptiness, insecurity, and the daunting feelings of potentially having the same parenting styles as your mother, healing has to occur to fix that mama wound and work towards the love that aids in your own ability to love yourself. This process does not come easily, but the boundaries you set up for yourself will enable a pivotal moment that will save your spirit and, ultimately, your sanity. Understanding someone else's brokenness does not have to be your narrative even if it is your mother.
You will be powerful again. You will shine again. A mother's love can serve as one of the purest and deepest love in someone's life, but if that love was not given to you that does not mean that kind of love is unattainable. You are worthy of experiencing true love, consuming true love and receiving love. You are loved. Click here to get additional help on your transformational healing journey to heal and ultimately forgive your mother for not giving you what she never received herself.
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