“When things change inside you, things change around you.”
There used to be a time when I relied on others for my peace. This is a dangerous position to be in, because the one who holds the key to your peace, holds the key to your mind. And the one who controls your mind controls your life.
The chains of narcissistic and emotional abuse that hold so many captive are strong, but they are not unbreakable. I know what it’s like to be tormented in your mind because you are afraid of messing up, you are fearful and terrified that with every move you make, the next step might be the wrong step. I understand the anguish that comes from tear-soaked pillows and sleepless nights.
Having peace doesn’t mean you have to live a life of perfection. A life of peace is the understanding that God is in control and He will not leave you or forsake you. The peace of God allows you to rest amid chaos, and pray when you don’t feel as though you have the words. “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” I’ve finally reached that place in my life. If it’s going to costs me my peace, I can’t afford it.
Areas Where God Will Grant Peace:
Deciding to flee an abusive relationship
When the smear campaigns begin
When the abuser begins to lie on you, belittle you, tell you that you’re crazy
Instances where significant people in your life are hoodwinked by the abuser
Listen, this list could go on and on! I need you to recognize that if breaking free from an individual brings you peace, you’ve not lost anything by leaving them. You have gained- your right state of mind, your self-worth, your sanity! Here’s how you’ll experience the peace that far surpasses your human understanding:
Obtaining Peace
Acknowledge the fact the relationship you had with a narcissistic abuser was never real
Drench yourself in the word of God, so you know what He says about you
Pray, pray, pray! Until it becomes like muscle memory.
Find your tribe! Surround yourself with like-minded people who understand what you have endured. Some friends or family may not genuinely support you.
Don’t return evil for evil. Let God vindicate you
Ask God to help you discover your true purpose and reveal your true identity
Help others as you are going through your wilderness. Give encouragement, volunteer special skills, etc.
What I know for sure is that you were not created to live in hell on earth. God has called us to live life more abundantly, and that life includes His peace. Man-made peace is predicated on circumstances. God-given peace never leaves. That means even on days when you want to throw in the towel, lash out, live in anger or fear, or even make a mistake, His peace is still there.
The peace of God is there, in the midst, in every situation- the good, the bad, the ugly. Anytime the enemy wants to feed you a lie, repeat this passage of scripture that has given me peace over and over again. Receive it as you continue to transform and heal.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)
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