In an effort to truly heal and move into a safe space, you will have to connect the dots that will hopefully lead you to the pattern of why you were engaged in narcissistic relationships in the first place.
When you have trouble defining love, especially when that love has been absent or toxic, you tend to try and find it elsewhere. This search for that companion may be found in the wrong places, leading you down a steep road of confusion, pain, trauma and manipulation. Although this may feel like love for a short time, in reality, a connection with a narcissist turns out to be one big juicy lie. By connecting these dots, you’ll begin to see the difference and trust that you are getting closer to the love that you were created to have and deserve.
When you love without boundaries or expectations, you cannot make rules around respect for yourself and understand how you need to be treated. This type of unstructured relationship allows for mistreatment and manipulation in ways that you wouldn’t notice any warning signs based on your past. When we haven’t established a strong foundation of love in childhood, it’s easy to make excuses and settle for less when you have no other form of devotion to compare, making you feel worthy of such emotion. In turn, this can affect your self-esteem and leave you vulnerable to other areas of mistreatment.
You may feel compelled to place blame on yourself when these relationships end or cause unhappiness in your life. But the truth starts by unraveling your childhood and seeing where this could have created. If you were raised by a narcissistic mother, the chances are you’ve experienced similar behaviors that have caused you to question your worth and your identity. It may also be the reason why you’ve developed an insecure style of attachment towards the people you involved yourself with as an adult. The kind of "love" that comes from narcissists is conditional. It can easily be taken away and forces an unhealthy trust factor that thrives on dependency.
Until these types of love lessons are exposed, and you’re able to recognize the realization of relationships, they will continue to shape the pattern of your future and potentially future generations. Working through the emotional pain of parental wounds can help you understand yourself and what you want in life in order to achieve true love and happiness. More often than not, those who choose to ignore these narcissistic relationships are left with the confusion and old wounds that will eventually prevent them from being the best versions of themselves.
Connecting the dots by revising and eventually healing from your past is a journey worth embarking on simply for the clarity that you gain within yourself. Those questions start to disappear, and the beautiful path of self-love can begin in ways that leave you with peace. Connecting your dots will sometimes lead you back to your childhood which is essential in order for authentic healing to take place in your life. Click here to get your healing prompt journal to assist you as you process, transform and heal.
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